Not There

This is the word that I can't say
You are my aphasia
My brain lesion
My synesthesia
Every sense bleeds into you
You are my vermilion
My high C
My food pavilion
This is the bed we broke each night
I'm lying in the wreckage
Sifting through myself
The broken slats

Each day I wake in that same bed and tell myself I just don't care
That when I wake up in that same bed I'm still shocked that you're not there

This is the thought that I can't stop
My trip wire
My phantom limb
The tracer fire
Each thought stops before it starts
Got a twenty four track mind and a one track heart

Hang the sun from the entrails of the last star shining
Let it hang
Silence the world starting here to the background splatter
Of the big bang

This is the thought that I can't stop:
You leaning over me spilling from your top

Each day I wake in that same bed and tell myself I just don't care
That when I wake up in that same bed I'm still shocked that you're not there

Hang the sun from the entrails of the last star shining
Before I shoot up the room
Silence the world starting here
To the background splatter of the big boom

This is the thought that I can't stop